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Tips for Overcoming Shyness

1. Make a list if the types of situation that trigger feelings of shyness.

2. Think about 4 or 5 specific occasions. Analyse who was there, how they were behaving, what they said, and your own self talk, to try and identify some common shared factors.

3. Based on this, identify what might help (For example, would it help if you stood near a friend and had them talk “just to you” sometimes; or do you need to work on changing the way you think and talk about yourself; or do you need to pace yourself so that you can escape and be by yourself every 10 or 15 minutes?)

4. Keep reminding yourself of your different strengths. They are a central part to who you are - yet we tend to forget all our positives once we feel anxious, self conscious or shy.

5. Watch the way other people behave - and try and act your way to change. Notice how they tend to behave, interact, and the kind of topics and jokes they use. These are mainly skills that you can copy and acquire. Observe other people – to see if that could help.

6. You may find it helpful to remember that, in most situations, people can’t tell how you feel. That means you can simply pretend that you feel confident – even if you feel shy and anxious inside.

7. Also, most people are too busy thinking of themselves to think about the way you come across to them. Thus, they many not remember you as being very shy, and they may think you’re fun and are great company. It’s just that you remember your powerful emotions, and were judging how you seemed from your point of view.