1. Go through – don’t hide from - the experience. You need to fully experience all the negative emotions before the healing process can begin.
2. Allow yourself to wallow in your independence. Don’t rush into a new relationship. You don’t need another person to make you feel complete. You’re enough in yourself. You are NOT inadequate.
3. Make a list of your strengths. It’s important that you focus on your good qualities as a broken heart can cause our self-esteem to plummet. Make a note of your successes and accomplishments. They didn’t disappear with the relationship!
4. Don’t try to suppress all the memories you have. Allow yourself some time to go over one or two … But don’t pitch your tent there - as the future’s now your focus.
5. Reach out to others who are suffering. You’re not the only person who is having a hard time (although you often feel you are when you’re broken-hearted) … and comforting another will distract you from your pain.
6. Allow yourself to laugh, and allow yourself to cry. Both of these are healing, and can bring release. They can help us feel more “normal”, and can bring a sense of peace.
7. Make a “good and bad list”. Make a list of all the things that you need to stop doing, to try and put some distance between you and them. For example, if you’re always checking their stuff on facebook then you’ll likely find it is harder to get them out mind. Alternatively, going out for a jog or meeting up with a friend can help to lift your spirits, and to change the way you feel.
8. Hang onto your hope. When a relationship ends (or if our love is unrequited) we can feel that life is pointless as there’s nothing good ahead. But the future is still open – and there’s definitely hope … And one day you will notice that you’re smiling naturally.