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Tips On How To Become A Better Listener

Don't forget that listening is win/win.

A lot of people may not listen to what others have to say to them because they feel like they don’t get much out of it personally. But the better you listen to others, the better they will listen to you. Therefore, listening will strengthen your relationship with the other person. If you focus on understanding him or her and on giving value based on that then you’ll get the same thing back! If you remind yourself of the fact that doing so will improve your relationships, you will find that listening becomes easier.

Tell yourself that you’ll tell someone else about this conversation later on.

One of the best ways to remember something better is to know that you are going to tell someone else about what happened or what you've learned. You'll become more alert which will make you ask more questions to understand what's being said. Also, you'll find that you're not going to focus so much on what to say next so the conversation tends to flow better.

Eye-contact is key.

Looking everywhere except at the person talking can make it seem like you are not really listening too well, which will make the conversation suffer. Therefore, you should keep eye-contact at all times.

Put that smart phone away.

Checking your social media profiles on your phone or your computer while trying to listen usually leads missing some part of the conversation and to the person talking feeling like he or she is not listened to. It's time to put that phone down while listening to someone if you don’t need it to check something or write something down as a part of the conversation.

Summarize what was said.

Taking a few seconds to summarize what someone just said makes it a lot easier to make sure you've fully understood what was said.

Do not try to mind-read.

Reading someone’s mind is quite difficult and most of the time it turns out to be impossible. Still, many of us try to do it anyway. However, don't do it. Stop that behavior straight away! If you want to know something, ask. It'll help him/her open up to you and start explaining and sharing what's going on.

Get some fresh air and/or exercise.

Few things make it so hard to follow along in a conversation as a tired and foggy head, which means that you need to take a walk or exercise a little in general just to clear your mind.

When you listen, just listen.

Don’t interrupt, don’t jump in with solutions or conclusions. Just be present in the moment and listen to what the other person has to say in the most careful manner. Let him or her talk until the entire message is said.

Be honest about yourself.

If you’re in a rush or feel very tired or stressed out, it's key to let the other person know. If you've listened for a while and you feel like your mind is starting to wander, you should also let them know. Don't be afraid to be honest. It's better to continue the conversation later on than to try to fake undivided attention and listen up while you just can't.

Share what you (would) have done in a similar situation.

When asked for advice while listening or when it seems appropriate, not when the other person just needs to vent and get things out, share what you have done in the same situation or a similar one and what worked well for you. It will give a lot more weight to your input than just random advice or opinions about what you think could work.